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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Alien Hunter... ET phoning in

Alien Hunter: 4 out of 10: First of all, is it me or does every movie that starts in Roswell, New Mexico suck?

alien hunter a

Allright second, take Alien mixed with The Thing, mixed with Contact,mixed with of all things On the Beach. Then throw in The AndromedaStrain, the classroom scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark and a littleStargate. Mix thoroughly and let rest. You now have the recipe forAlien Hunter.

alien hunter e

Derivativedoes not even begin to describe this movie. Of course, with anon-original screenplay one would hope they amp up the gore and sexright? Nope. Gore is a blink and you miss it affair and sex is alltease. (James Spader causally mentions he needs a shower and thedelectable Leslie Stefanson asks to join him…. he then turns her down. AGGH!)

alien hunter b

Infact, if a movie ever needed a shower scene to liven things up, this isit. If you are going to place, impossibly good-looking women, in whitebathing suits, wandering around an Antarctica research base, why not gofor broke?

alien hunter c

Withabout 30 seconds of actual thrill, for an entire movie, Alien Hunter isremarkably serious and slow going. It also needed a much better plottwist to liven things up. In addition, as an aside, the titular Alienis a horrible banalité and has virtually no screen time for someone whoshares half the title.

alien hunter d

Also what is with the Children of the Corn in space motif. (In all fairness since Jason, of Friday the 13th fame, Pinhead from Hellraiser; and that Leprechaun have all traveled to space to slay nubile teenagers why not the cornfield from Children of the Corn?) The characters in the cornfield dress like Logan's Runextras and I was just waiting for the stalks to come alive and announcesomeone’s birthday.

Alien Hunter 1C

Thathowever would have been exciting, and apparently against this moviescovenant. The acting is passable, as Spader reprises his Stargate role,while Stefanson and Janine Eser model the latest in Antarctic beachwear. John Lynch however read the whole script and acts the like the insane bad guy well before the story would indicate it.

Alien Hunter 1b

Alien Hunter is a disappointing derivative slog that makes me pine for a proper Children of The Corn in Space movie.

Alien Hunter 1a
(And no the last three pictures have nothing to do with the movie.)


The Trailer





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