Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Catwoman... Joke to easy... must resist urge...
Catwoman: 3 out of 10: Halle Berry isn't the first actor to squander Oscar gold (F. cough Murray cough Abraham) but I can't recall an actor doing it so quickly.
Sure Oscar winners have old films embarrassingly show up on DVD and after a few years and ex-wives they will take a paycheck role in some European schlock. But in your next movie in which you are the star?
Berry isn't awful as simply horrible miscast (lacks a certain erotic nastiness for the role.) and apparently doesn't have the acting chops to make up the difference. One must speculate how the studio felt when the first rushes came in. It sounded so good on paper and Berry is such a big star it's doubtful that any screen test was done. Now the evidence is in front of them and the enormity of the casting mistake is obvious. Was anyone in that room brave enough to admit the emperor has no clothes?
Now Berry is hardly the worst actor in the movie (Alex Borstien as the fat horny comic relief is pretty awful but the honors go to Frances Conroy as the cat lady who is so awful one wonders if she has ever had a conversation with another human.)
(On a side note it really is amazing that I list the worst actors and Benjamin Bratt doesn't make the cut. Now that is some bad acting.)
On another even side note I list the worst actors and Sharon Stone (who famously rejected Benjamin Bratt from her Basic Instinct sequel for not being a good enough actor) doesn't make the list. Good lord somebody call Guinness.
While the movie overall is not nearly as bad as its reputation led me to believe, Catwoman still falls short.
Along with the acting there is the horrible horrible (did I mention horrible) music which sounds like a 13 year old girls idea of what is hip; a lot of silly jumping around the city scenes; and the coup de grace, the Ferris wheel scene.
Now no-one wants to see Catwoman save cherub face boy from carny ride gone bad…come to think of it no-one wants to see Batman do this either. The direction and scripting on this scene is bad… Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever bad. Between this and the main villain being a cosmetic tyrant whose anti-aging cream is faulty the lightweight plot is not doing the movie any favors.
Superhero Karma at the theater is returned. For every Dark Knight there is a Catwoman. This movie might be awful by every conceivable measurement but it helps return a cosmic balance to the universe.
I'm not sure if this is original music from the movie it sounds awful enough to be.
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