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Thursday, April 8, 2010

Claire of the Moon... The Hook Up Generation

Claire of the Moon: 2 out of 10: This is why women's studies majors shouldn't be allowed to write and direct films. Of course woman's studies does not actually study all woman as woman have opinions and accomplishments as varied as men. Woman's studies courses as pointed out by Professors Dapne Patai and Noretta Koertge in ‘Professing Feminism: Cautionary Tales from the Strange World of Women's Studies' are more interested in “the political mission of training feminist cadres to override educational concerns. The strategies of faculty members in these programs have included policing insensitive language, championing research methods deemed congenial to women (such as qualitative over quantitative methods), and conducting classes as if they were therapy sessions.”

Woman's studies is an exercise in a particular group-think that attacks freedom as a whole and the freedom of woman in particular. Claire of the Moon is full of long anti-woman diatribes basically claiming straight woman are undermining the feminist movement (this is assuming there are any straight feminists left mind you). The movie was directed by a woman, so of course this anti-woman point of view is okay. This is the Precious rule where as long as you are a member of a group you can make a film that drags out every horrible stereotype about said group and will be praised for it. Now had the exact same film been written and directed by a straight white male, people would have burned the theater down.

This politically correct nonsense really should not effect the enjoyment of a film as one can be pro nuclear power and still enjoy Godzilla as an example. Claire of the Moon however has much bigger problems than its absolutist point of view.

Claire of the Moon's plot consists of two woman who become roommates at an all woman writer's retreat (one would think a writer's retreat would have individual rooms. This however is never examined.) Our titular protagonist Claire Jabrowski (Trisha Todd) is a drunk woman (Think Sherrybaby) who is sloppy, sleeps with creepy men at the drop of a hat and passes for a writer in the way that Tara Reid is convincing as a brainy anthropologist in Alone in the Dark. Playing Felix to Todd's Oscar is Karen Trumbo who plays a successful lesbian writer who is very butch and a neat freak. They hate each other on sight so it's going to be a long tedious ride before the inevitable hook-up sex.

Claire of The Moon tells this story in the form of three films mashed together: A haranguing lecture, A romantic novel and a soft core porn film.


The haranguing lecture is easily the worst part. The actresses are all amateur and read their overwrought screeds with a talent that varies from awful, to god awful, to good God make it stop I will join your cult and renounce my evil heterosexual ways awful. The romance novel bits consist of endless shots of sunsets and driftwood on various Oregon beaches while a piano tinkers in the background. You may remember how seemingly every movie in the early seventies would stop the story outright and go all soft focus while a folk song played in your ears? Claire of the Moon is kind of like that but without the warbling.

The soft-core sex is what hopefully attracts both enlightened females and straight males to the movie. (I say hopefully because if you came for the acting or the story you are in for a world of hurt.) Our hook up sex partners (sorry romantic leads) are as stated above Trisha Todd who never made a another movie, teaches drama at Grant High in Portland, looks a little like Laura Dern, she is easily the best actress of the bunch, and whose nudity is the sole reason the film wasn't rated one out of ten. The other main lead Karen Trumbo has found some roles since Claire, she looks a little like Sigourney Weaver if Sigourney had a breast reduction and a little boy’s haircut, and she convincingly plays a butch lesbian.

The sex scene comes in the last ten minutes of the film and it is decent as these things go (though it certainly not worth watching the rest of the film for). It also has the great advantage however of having no dialogue, and is more enjoyable if you don't know the characters. In other words this is the reason God created the fast forward button.

For an illustrated version of this review please see my mature review site Naughty Bits

And for an example of what I am talking about above

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