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Friday, May 21, 2010

Future War... What is it Good for?

Future War A





Future War: 1 out of 10: Future War brings with it many questions starting with who are those people on the DVD cover? They do not appear anywhere in the film. I have seen misleading DVD covers before (Cough... Lionsgate... Cough) but this wins some sort of award.

The plot is your usual fare. Jean-Claude Van Damme look alike Daniel Bernhardt is a slave in outer space. He escapes to Earth and is tracked by Tyrannosaurus Rex puppets shot in forced perspective. He meets up with a former drug addicted prostitute who is going through novitiate (Catholic Nun Training) yet she still has street cred and a scrapbook of her hooker days.

So Slave boy and the Novice Nun join up with local 12 steppers and gangbangers to fight the T-rex puppets and kickboxing against Robert Z'Dar’s chin. The fight scenes consist of either people kicking empty boxes at each other or Dinosaur puppets in hallways with empty boxes. In fact, the entire film is filled with empty boxes like a Solid Snake wet dream or a UPS training film.

Even with a budget in the thousands, I am not sure the script is filmable. The acting, with the notable exception of Travis Brooks Stewart (The nun unbelievably) is amateur at best. There is no nudity, limited gore, and the special effects consist of Dinosaur puppets.

The Mystery Science Theater version of this film gets 8 out of 10. Decent riffing and skits though even Mike and the bots seem overwhelmed by the sheer incompetence on the screen


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